How often do we hear ourselves say..
“I should,” I have to, I got to”, but nothing happens? Or we must force ourselves to get things done? We’ve been hearing these words since our earliest years, but what are two-year-olds best at? Saying NO. Unless we change the script, our inner child and subconscious mind still react the same way when hearing these words internally.
Try an interesting experiment for two weeks.
Really listen to your self-talk language. Whenever you hear yourself say, “I have to, I’ve got to, I should, I ought to” etc., ask yourself what do I truly mean? Is it life would be better if I did this? Someone wants me to do this, but I don’t want to? This would be beneficial, but I don’t yet know exactly how to do it? Or any other reframe that fits.
This technique can be powerful because we’re sidestepping some of the subconscious programming developed since birth and largely finalized by age six. Programming known as our core beliefs; which includes attitudes and assumptions. Every feeling or emotion is attached to a belief and the more stressed we are, the more the subconscious “auto-pilot” programming kicks in.
You may be surprised at how much easier it becomes to self motivate or move past procrastination.
If additional steps are desired to address resistance, anxiety or procrastination, Emotional Freedom Techniques and Picture Tapping Techniques (EFT, PTT) are powerful. Since every feeling is attached to a belief, we draw on these tools to create a safe space for a collaborative dialogue between the rational adult conscious mind and the subconscious mind carrying our early programming and beliefs. With the support of an experienced and skilled practitioner, old programs and beliefs that no longer serve us well are brought into the light of day one safe piece at a time. Every part of our psyche gets to understand the rest of the story.
This work develops the critical skill of self-compassion. Now known to be one of the most fundamental childhood building blocks or adult resiliency. The deep understanding at every level that we are human like everyone else. That like everyone else, we’ve done and reacted to situations the best we knew how at the moment; even if it seems wrong looking back.
To learn more about these techniques, set up an initial interview with David Gilbert.
Author: David E P Gilbert. David is a highly experienced Integrative Therapist particularly focused on anxiety/depression, stress, burnout, grief, trauma or PTSD, Post Concussion Syndrome and self-sabotage. He’s based at Whole Therapy and ECOSYS Wellness Center in Ottawa ON. Canada. Being trained in a number of modalities including Emotional Freedom Techniques and PTT (Picture Tapping Techniques), he works with clients both in-office and via phone or video cam across the world. Work so powerful it’s guaranteed