Learning Self Compassion with Emotional Freedom Techniques

May 15, 2019

When we’re young, we’re the center of our own universe; or so we assume. During this time, the subconscious mind has more than a million times the neurological processing power of our conscious mind. Every word, action, tone of voice and body language experienced when young, informs the developing perceptions of our world and the degree of security and acceptability we feel within it. Core beliefs are formed by the age of six and become our “operating system”. These matter deeply because it’s estimated ninety five percent of our conscious thoughts, decisions and perceptions are shaped by these early subconscious programs (i.e. beliefs).

The subconscious has a number of roles and one of its most important is to keep us safe. The best way it knows how, given the early programs/beliefs it’s taken on. One powerful method it employs is to make us far more self-critical and self-judgemental than we would ever consider being with anyone else. The subconscious belief is that this will prevent us from being unsafe or unacceptable to those around us. This often leads to assumptions that anything positive said or implied about us can’t be true. They’re just being kind or polite. On the other hand, any negative words, body language or expressions are taken as self-evident truth.

For many of us, these translate as negative tapes running in the background of our consciousness. An interesting test is to become aware of these harsh self-talk tapes. When hearing them, stop and really think about whether you would ever talk/judge so harshly with a friend or child.  Just the act of continually assessing self-talk through this lens can gradually lessen the power of these old programs.

A much more direct and elegant way is to harness the power of Emotional Freedom Techniques, (EFT, Tapping, Picture Tapping Techniques). Every feeling is attached to a belief. By using the language of feelings, we can open a collaborative dialogue between the conscious mind with its life time of rational thought, knowledge and understanding and the subconscious mind carrying all our early programming and beliefs. With the support of an experienced and skilled practitioner, old programs and beliefs can be brought into the light of day. One safe piece at a time, to be re-examined in the current reality. So every part of our psyche gets to understand “the rest of the story”.

During the course of this work, we begin to develop real self-compassion. Understanding at every level that we are human which is both a great and a challenging reality.

We’ve all done the best we knew how, with the tools we’ve had at the time. It’s never too late to get better tools. No matter what our earlier childhood programming and experiences, we all have the opportunity to learn to become worm nurturing mentors to our inner child. We don’t have to worry about how good we are at it at any time, because our inner child isn’t going anywhere. We can go back as often as we need to, to gently educate, reassure and heal hurtful, fearful or limiting beliefs; without trauma.

To learn more about these techniques, set up an initial interview with David Gilbert. Our gifted Integrative Therapist. He can be reached directly @ 613-747-5458 or wellness@david-gilbert.com . Offering work so powerful it’s guaranteed.


Yours in good mental and emotional health.

Posted in Uncategorized by Pat Moore