Recovery from Grief

May 10, 2018

During well over a decade of using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or Tapping) in my practice, I’ve worked with many individuals suffering various stages of loss.  We all face grief or loss at some point in our lives. For most it’s a painful but appropriate honoring and recognition of that which is gone; followed by the usual stages of recovery.  Too often however, I see clients who are stuck. They just can’t let go of the pain; even if it’s been years.

 

In each case to date, it’s been subconscious beliefs which have held them hostage to the pain. Robbing them of access to happy memories and preventing them from being free to heal and once again live satisfying lives.  With EFT, we’ve started with the smallest pieces or aspects at the top of the pile of thoughts or feelings. Then step by step we’ve moved further as each of these small aspects lost their power to cause distress. By moving at a pace the subconscious felt safe with, most have found they’ve been quite painlessly and rapidly able to access the root harmful beliefs. Letting the conscious and subconscious mind collaborate in bringing them into the  light where they can be rewritten to fit their current reality.

 

These subconscious beliefs are most commonly:

  • My feelings of grief and/or loss are all I have left of that person or relationship. If I let go of them it will be the final loss. I’ll be left totally bereft and that’s too hard; or even unimaginable.
  • If I let go of the pain it will mean I didn’t care enough. What kind of person would I be? Recovery would be a betrayal.
  • Guilt; even when the conscious mind knows the guilt is not reasonable. “I don’t deserve to let go or be happy again”.
  • It’s my identity. If I let go of the pain and grief I won’t know who I am.
  • It’s too late for me. Life has already passed me by and there’s no point in trying.

 

In some cases clients haven’t realized they’ve been stuck.  Believing the painful feelings were useless, they stuffed them in a hole and clamped the lid down hard. Unfortunately these locked away feelings didn’t just evaporate.  The process left them emotionally disconnected; both from themselves and others. Depending on family history, culture and life experiences, anyone can find themselves victims of this invisible emotional prison.

Once freed from these subconscious “traps” clients report a wealth of memories of happier times flooding in.  Instead of being frozen in the moment of loss, that brief period of time becomes one slim volume in the entire library of their years of experience with that person.  The same applies where instead it’s been the loss of a beloved pet or valued position.

For some, just the understanding of what’s been keeping them locked in such a painful place can be enough to allow them to recover.  Others may benefit most from a few sessions with a qualified and experienced EFT practitioner.

 

To your good life.

 

 

Author: David E P Gilbert. David is a highly experienced Integrative Therapist with particular focus on feelings of anxiety/depression, stress, burnout, grief, trauma, post-concussion syndrome and self-sabotage. He’s based at Whole Therapy and ECOSYS Wellness Center in Ottawa ON. Canada. Being trained in a number of modalities including Emotional Freedom Techniques, PTT (Picture Tapping Techniques) and Somatic Oscillation, he works with clients both in-office and via phone or video cam across North America. For most situations and care options he provides clients with a money back guarantee.

 

The above is not intended as medical advice. As always, consult with your physician before making changes.

Posted in Integrative Therapy, Wellness by David Gilbert