It’s surprising how many clients have expressed guilt for coming to therapy because they shouldn’t…
Many of us are terribly self judgmental. Victims of all-or-nothing thinking about our performance, appearance, and worth. This often takes the form of automatic negative tapes running in our heads. Since learning self compassion is a critical skill in developing emotional resiliency, the long term effects of this self talk can be devastating. Even for those who love us. If we can’t accept ourselves, it’s tough to truly accept that someone else values us.
This simple fix doesn’t replace therapy in addressing the root causes, but it can be the beginning of learning to accept ourselves. Recognizing that like everyone else, we’re doing the best we know how given the resources, perspectives, experiences and subconscious programs we have at any particular moment.
Step two: Ask yourself if you would ever think to talk to a friend, family member or co-worker.
Step three: Become aware of all-or-nothing thinking, by asking yourself how you would respond to someone you cared about in the same circumstances.
Another useful tool is David’s Limiting Beliefs Checklist. It’s a series of questions, which you answer as to how true each feels, not how true you think it is. It supports self-awareness, and gives a lovely glimpse into some of the subconscious programming which may be driving the harsh self-judgement.
David Gilbert, Integrative Therapist and Emotional Freedom Techniques practitioner is here to help guide you through the process of silencing your inner critic. Contact David at David@David-Gilbert.com or call/text 613-981-9006.
Be kind to yourselves. 💚